Ridiculously bored and unmotivated

I have a new position at work.  I started training in June so it’s been a couple months and I’m well into the groove of things, though I have questions for teammates that come up from time to time.  I like my manager and I like my team.  And I have not felt so bored in ages.

Seriously, ridiculously bored.  To the point where I want to look for work at a new company but most likely won’t because who has the time to look for new work when you have a perfectly good job and the money is enough that starting over anywhere is not feasible?  So I feel stuck.  It may even out over the next few months, and after six months in a position you can apply for other departments, so I may just hold out for that.

My hours and days off are also different so we have to farm out the kids three days a week now instead of two.  We were very lucky to have a friend of Velvet’s offer to watch them and they really like her and her kids, so that part is good.  But the expenses do add up and only having two days off instead of three days really makes a difference to how I feel when my weekend is over.  It never feels long enough.

We’ve signed up Ezra for preschool this year and are now waiting back to get confirmation on that.  Hopefully sooner rather than later because I think the school year is starting in a week or two.

Jesse was verbally told that the company he is interning at is offering him a position and they’ve already started the paperwork but they haven’t had the talk about salary and benefits or anything of that, which I think is a bit odd.

Jesse has been wanting to move from our house for awhile now and we’ve entertained the idea of selling and moving to a new location, but I hate the idea of moving farther away from Velvet and her brood.  And I really hate packing up a house.  So now the tentative plan is to get a refi on the house for more than we owe so we can fix up the house a bit.  I’m talking new roof, lawn and sprinklers, maybe central air.

I also want a new van and Jesse would get the Subaru, but we’re still paying off credit cards and then Jesse’s student loans are going to start in repayment this fall so I’m not sure how feasible that dream is because then we’d have two car loans instead of just the one.  The good news is we are SO close to paying off one credit card.  I haven’t been buying new items for resell and am focusing on selling off what inventory I currently have.  I’m going to reevaluate whether I want to do the resell thing after the new year.  I mean, I’ve been in the black with that for over a year, but I hate having inventory on hand and it’s just taking up so much space in the spare room.
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Ezra has found the delights of Minecraft.  He freaking LOVES that game and I find it pretty dull.  He wants me to play it with him and I have but really I have no interest.  I have a rule that he cannot play it until after noon, and that he has to practice writing his letters first.  I bought some practice paper on Amazon but he is not too keen to practice writing.  I kid you not, it sometimes takes three hours to get him to practice four lines of As.  I’m like, “You could be playing Minecraft right now!  This should only take about five minutes!”  But no, that paper is still sitting there a couple hours later.

I think the problem is that I’ll have the TV on, or he will decide to play on his tablet instead.  We need to have a rule where we limit his screen play time.  I wouldn’t mind so much if he were playing games where the object is spelling or math or something.  I guess Minecraft is ok in the sense that it’s building his creativity in that he can LITERALLY build whatever he wants in that game.  A friend at work said her daughter built a conveyor belt that produces cats.  That’s all it does.  She doesn’t do anything with the cats so she just has a crap ton of them in her land.

I finally finished That 70s Show.  I took it from start to finish.  I also rewatched Grey’s Anatomy lately, and the first two seasons of Penny Dreadful.  Now we’re going through Netflix’s Stranger Things.  It’s good but pretty creepy.

I started walking on the treadmill again and wouldn’t you know it, about three days later my left heel started KILLING ME.  It hurt so bad when I walked on it.  Yesterday morning I *almost* didn’t walk but I took it at a slow pace and slowly ratched up the speed and that helped.  And this morning when I woke up it didn’t hurt as much when I started walking!  My left calf is also strained so I think those muscles connect somehow and are just jacked up.  I should probably be stretching first but I figured walking wasn’t that much of a strain.  Eventually I need to reevaluate my eating habits as well (as I sit here eating homemade fudge) and then maybe I’ll see some movement.

I asked a friend about her weight-loss procedure she had done, the gastric sleeve, but it’s just such a permanent thing.  They literally cut like 70% of your stomach out.  I feel like if I’m only going to be eating maybe a half-cup of food anyway, I should just do that now, like I should have the willpower to just do that already and then I wouldn’t need to go through surgery.  Because I’d still have the mental emotional ties to eating that I have now, surgery wouldn’t fix that.  She was telling me that a part they take out secretes the hormones that send signals that you’re hungry, so that helps.  But my problem isn’t that I don’t get the signals that I’m hungry or full, it’s a whole other issue.  I don’t know.  Something to think about, I suppose.

In closing, I feel bored, unmotivated, slightly depressed, but still keeping on.  Keep your fingers crossed that I figure things out, will you?


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